So I’ve decided it’s time to wind things down here in the Introverts’ Corner. When I started this blog, there were very few people writing about introversion. Even Susan Cain’s blockbuster book, Quiet, was three years away. Today, scores of professional introverts are out there expounding on our quiet nature.
- She figures that although her eyes, hands, and feet are currently occupied, her mouth is not.
- Mentoring relationships work especially well for you in quiet, comfortable spaces or even through written feedback.
- Perhaps you and your neighbor share the same gardening and television interests or you and your co-worker have pretty similar personalities.
- Select events that create an inviting environment for connection, allowing your introverted friend to engage comfortably.
- Use open-ended inquiries, like “What have you been up to lately?
Therapist-approved Ways To Make Friends As An Introvert
But when you go slow and stay true to who you are, you create space for the kind of friendships that really matter. Introverts can be quiet and reserved and often need someone a little more extroverted to draw them out by asking questions or initiating conversations with them. Because they may not speak up unless asked, opening the door to a conversation can help move your friendship forward. It’s usually best to start with more superficial topics and work up to deeper or more personal topics as trust develops.
I’d had a lovely time getting to know a potential new friend. We were both single moms, both about the same age, and both working in mental health careers. Journaling is especially good for self-expression if you don’t always like to share your thoughts out loud. It’s a personal space that belongs only to you, which makes it easier to explore subjects that feel too private to voice. This practice is linked to personal growth and better self-understanding. Recent research shows that everyone gets drained from socializing eventually, even extroverts.
Listening actively involves more than just hearing words. Nodding, maintaining eye contact, and using verbal cues like “I see” or “tell me more” show you value their thoughts. Finally, if you want to identify YOUR personality type, then take one of these 11 personality tests to better understand what makes you tick. So it’s time to identify your hobbies, and find people who have the same hobby as you do. Sure, an introvert may come across as being shy because they are more reflective, they check out a situation before taking action, and they are usually quieter. But that doesn’t mean all introverts are shy or are always shy.
Introverts gripe that extroverts can’t be alone, talk too much, hate silence, interrupt and are poor listeners. Speaking for myself, if I’ve starved myself of enough social contact, sometimes I can be the life of the party. The best way to begin something new—in love, work, and life. Reach out to friends that are on the peripheral of your group, too!
Writing gives you time to reflect on what to say and how to say it. It allows you to edit your thoughts and craft your message just so. Plus there’s less pressure when you’re typing your words into your phone alone than when you’re saying them to someone in real time. If you’re an introvert, you feel good when you’re alone. If your small circle and quiet life make you feel content, you don’t need to push yourself into anything different.
Are Introverts Just Socially Awkward?
Don’t rush the process, and don’t compare yourself to others who may seem more socially active. In a small group, you’re more likely to open up and contribute to deeper discussions. You notice details, pick up on feelings, and focus on what people are really saying. You prefer meaningful chats over casual small talk, which helps you build trust and find common ground with those around you.
You use this time to absorb ideas without distractions or interruptions. Writing can be quieter and less stressful than talking things out. You get the space to be honest with yourself, without worrying about being judged or interrupted. When you take time to write about your feelings, it can help you notice patterns or triggers that might have gone unnoticed. You probably find that getting your thoughts out on paper helps you make sense of them. Reflective journaling lets you step back and look at your day, feelings, or even your dreams with more clarity.
You could also feel anxious when you’re under a lot of stress but have no one to share your feelings with. Keep in mind, though, that the more chances you take, the more likely you are to succeed. True friendship does require effort, and success can take time. It never hurts to start seeking connections in the things you already do. This might be harder during the pandemic — but harder doesn’t mean impossible.
When you’re true to yourself and embrace your introverted nature, you attract people who appreciate and value you for who you are. Introverts tend to value quality over quantity when it comes to friendships and is more selective about who they let into their inner circle. This approach requires less energy than meeting complete strangers and gives you natural conversation topics to work with. Making friends as an introvert can feel impossible (although still probably easier than dating as an introvert). But it’s seldom that we actually take action, that we take it upon ourselves to make friends.
Look for colleagues you already chat with casually, especially fellow introverts who prefer one-on-one lunch conversations over big group outings. Despite the many differences between introverts and extroverts, there are some important qualities that can be learned from both perspectives. Take ownership of the conversations you find yourself in. Allow yourself to play the part of someone who’s comfortable being centerstage. Be the kind of person who can make someone else’s day just by sending a sweet, unexpected text.
Did you know that listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your social arsenal? Introverts tend to be good listeners, which can be an asset when it comes to making friends. As an introvert, you may have found yourself in situations where making friends seems like a daunting task. It’s within our power to be that kind of friend to someone. ” texts, ask questions, take an interest, host, plan hangouts, and dig deep.
You naturally lean toward spending time in smaller groups. Big crowds and noisy parties can feel overwhelming, but sharing quiet moments with just a few people helps you really connect. It’s not about a lack of interest in others—it’s about valuing conversations that matter. By following these steps, you’ll gradually adopt an introverted mindset, making it easier to enjoy solitude while managing social interactions effectively. Therapists often recommend ways for introverts to connect with others without feeling exhausted.
As long as both people are willing to work a little harder to relate and connect, introverts and extroverts can become great friends and can even help to keep each other balanced. Kahnweiler, who trains leaders, teams and organizations on how to help introverts https://www.trustpilot.com/review/goldenagesouls.org thrive in an extroverted world, shares tips on how both personalities can get along. In truth, I don’t feel I have anything new to say about introversion at this point, which is one reason among many I’ve been quieter than usual the past couple of years.
When you know what to expect and have established clear friendship routines, you’ll feel more comfortable and you won’t feel so drained. Being an active participant (asking AND answering questions) in the conversation leads to more meaningful friendships. This falls under the people-pleasing umbrella and makes any friendship one-sided, which isn’t fair on your extroverted friend or person. I actually met my besties online, and it’s the best thing that’s happened to me. There are benefits to trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone, even though I know this doesn’t come easily for us introverts.
Friendship Starts With A Hello
However, sometimes making the effort to reach out first can be a powerful way to make new friends. You’re more likely to connect with individuals who share your interests, passions, and values. And when you do find those connections, they’re more likely to be genuine, long-lasting friendships built on a foundation of mutual respect and understanding.
But perhaps some of the articles suggesting extroverted people are happier and better off kick-started your motivation to make friends. If you don’t actually feel the need to spend time among others, that’s just fine. Being alone doesn’t necessarily translate to loneliness, after all. The more time you spend together, the more relaxed you’ll feel — and the more your true self will naturally shine through. If you have these issues with your friend, talk about it, Kahnweiler says. Later, she learned that her coworker thought she was being rude.
Many introverted people do have several close friends, but the fact remains that introverts will always need time to recharge alone. Friendship can be especially challenging for introverts when anxiety makes social interactions feel overwhelming. Worries about saying the wrong thing, fear of rejection, and overanalyzing conversations can make it even harder to reach out and form connections.
We need to meet new people, and even though we don’t need much, we need to socialize. It just means you have a different style of socializing and connecting with others. Embrace your unique qualities and strengths, and don’t be afraid to be yourself.
You need to especially think about branching out to make friends if your current interests don’t give you many opportunities to connect with others. When you know you want a friend or two for the right reasons, you can set out to make yourself some besties. Introverts do have friends, and they can make friends – relatively easily.
